bloggy froggie wonders when she'll fall in love with this again.
Showing posts with label labile emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label labile emotions. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

i guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime.

but there's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.

wow. i haven't felt alone in three years. but now i do. it feels like going through a breakup, except that it's not one.

i hate that everything i think, say, do or feel is wrong, and must be disregarded.

i hate feeling like an unwanted burden.

i hate feeling that everyone else gets things i want. i hate feeling ungrateful for what i have now, but i DO feel terrible. i can't believe i feel terrible for feeling terrible. feh.

i hate knowing that i don't have to live this way, but that i still do.

i hate feeling that happy endings are for other people.

i hate feeling hopeful when things stay the same or turn for the worse.

i wish i could get out of here.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

it's finished! :D

the frog princess, md na talaga! :D :D :D

congratulations upcm 2010! :D

here's to living the dream! :D :D :D

Friday, June 25, 2010

don't you get it?

you're living the dream!

that's what i kept telling myself during five of the most upsetting, most difficult years of my life. it was during these five years that i first felt AND knew the exact times when i was speaking without thinking, or i end up phrasing a lot of things badly, making myself look mean, or even worse, stupid. this was also the time when i had the distinct sensation of learning, BUT i'm not able to translate that learning into practice all the time. trina, think before you speak! it's harder than it seems. haha!

then we come to board review, applications for residency, and actually taking the boards.

not knowing how all this is going to turn out, if your hard work is going to pay off or not is driving everyone crazy (i think). haha! at least, it's driving me crazy. i love going over med school topics and learning so many new things, as well as revisiting what i've forgotten. the problem really is remembering everything for just four days of your life for just one set of make or break exams. panic!

but once again-

don't you get it? you're living the dream!

as a member of class 2007 told me when i was still in college, "no one wants to be a med student." everyone wants to be a doctor. but being a doctor means you go through being a med student. then i was told to think about it. apparently i didn't think hard enough. haha!

so, years later, i would end up telling an aspiring doctor the same thing. i also told her that while i knew that the time would come when i wouldn't want it anymore, i knew i'd regret it if i didn't go for it. i wonder what she'll decide. haha!

in the meantime, i'll go on living the dream- with my patho brs, where i'm 4 chapters and a day behind. haha!

Monday, May 10, 2010

let the psychosis begin!

Okay, i've voted.

So it's time to get ready for the boards.

i have almost all the reviewers i need except for a few books i left in adriatico, one with donn mc, and one i have yet to order.

honestly, i'm in a state of panic right now. ang dami kong hindi alam, at ang dami ko nang nalimutan.

yung mga aaralin ko ba for these first weeks of review maaalala ko pa sa august?

so dahil wala akong alam, sayang ba yung effort ko ng limang taon?

makukumpleto ko ba reviewers ko?

papasa ba 'kong boards?

magiging NoyBi ba tayo for the next 6 years?

kakain ba ko ng dunkin donuts or krispy kreme after typing this entry?

fear and panic.

tinotopak na ko.