bloggy froggie wonders when she'll fall in love with this again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

facebook: dangerous

so after 27 years of being totally dependent on my parents, i am suddenly entering -gasp!- the workforce. this is completely new to me, since i've been going to school the whole time my other friends who didn't become doctors were gaining their independence. i honestly feel every year of eighteen. eighteen!!!!! haha!

and along for the ride in this journey to independence is facebook. it's considered a roadblock to productivity and a waste of office network bandwidth- both of which are absolutely right. but besides that, there's the content. during med school (and college/high school/etc, had this been THE social network in existence), i'd really have said whether i studied or not, which lectures i hated (or not), which classes i actually attended, slept in, or faked signing the attendance in. ok, well, maybe not the latter. haha! bottom line, we've turned it into a confessional that might not be okay for coworkers, bosses, or even non-doctors to read. yes, WE.

i've had a friend who was fired over ym comments during work. so it really does happen. TMI? i don't think so. it could be where the TMI was shared. in the internet, the walls (and message archives) have ears, and anything you say or do online can and will be held against you. so that brings us to oversharing on facebook.

will you seriously let your seniors into your social network, where they can read about you complaining about your job? i don't think so. hahahaha! so the entire point of the social network is that you can share, but it looks like you can't anyway. this is so weird.

i guess this really is part of growing up now. your virtual world has to change along with you. ew. every aspect of you has to grow up and be responsible. hahahaha!

and i can't imagine what the perks of this could be.

Monday, November 15, 2010

regression at its finest

now that preresidency is done, and the results are out, i've actually gone back to my pre-med school vacation lifestyle: regression at its finest! haha!

i love having an anime marathon, channel surfing, bumming around online on facebook, reading web comics, and wondering when the next time i'll be going out is. haha! :) i love being kaladkarin, and i love the predictability of it all. :) even having a very busy boyfriend is working in my favor- this is really pre-everything lifestyle. :)

i'm actually still not over the three hobbies that almost never come up in my happy-bumming around entries anymore: the glaring lack of video games (the hardcore ones, i still love my casual games!), books, or dancing in my life. i guess i miss them... otherwise they wouldn't be mentioned at all... haha! but they don't come as naturally to me as they used to. too bad.

i'm wondering if i should get off my ass and go for some mini-adventure that i'd never get to do once i start residency, or take the rest time and be a bum.

decisions, decisions. haha!

i love not being too tired to do what i want. but i'm also getting a bit bored. just a BIT.

ang sabi nga, nakakapagod maghintay. it's true.

i honestly still feel that i'm waiting for my life to begin. when in reality, it HAS.

my life can't begin FOR me; i have to get off my ass and do it.

after 5 more episodes of anime. haha!!!!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

blogging about not blogging

i actually changed blogs right after graduating from med school, since i figured i needed some new blogspace to put my crazy post-med school thoughts and mini-adventures in. it still didn't fly.

i haven't been blogging as much as i thought i would. i'm not sure if it's because of the interface (na minumura ko hanggang ngayon. haha!), or the fact that i find it a -bit- difficult to customize (though my other friends seem to have theirs all customized), or the fact that no one is reading my blogger (since the whole world is on fb anyway. haha!), or maybe my primary impression: NOTHING IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE, OR IN MY BRAIN. haha!

then i stumbled upon tumblr. haha!

i find it interesting that they advertise ease of use, as well as a platform to upload almost anything!!!!! :D :D :D it's like multiply in that respect, except that i have less friends here. hmmm, i have none. i also like being able to post links and pics that i wouldn't be able to post on facebook since it's too public. haha!

ironically, while i rave about the multimedia i can post here, i'm starting with text. hahaha!

so, will i fall in love with this tumblr as much as i fell for multiply in its heyday? there's only one way to find out. :)

(for frods and the blogger formerly known as HTGOF. haha!)

Friday, September 24, 2010

food: the new substance of abuse?

i've been overweight for a little over five years already. okay, so i've hit a glorious time when i WAS actually back to my old size 6, but that didn't last long. boo.

i always considered myself a stress eater- that is, the worse life is for me, the more i eat. this post-boards period sort of showed me the truth: no, i am not a stress eater. in fact, the happier i am, the more i eat. then again, the sadder i am, the more i eat too. haha!! this is actually one of the happiest few months of my life, and i'm STILL EATING.

omg. wala akong excuse! haha!

so why do i eat? i think i eat out of habit. the morning must bring breakfast, midmorning a snack, lunchtime is called LUNCHtime for a reason, my tummy gets rumbly by mid-afternoon, and of course, dinnertime brings dinner. but no, i'm not done yet! midnight snacks do not have to happen at midnight exactly. ;) horrible, horrible. haha! but wow, i've lived this way for all my life.

i used to dance A LOT, so i could get away with having a big mac for a snack. thing is, i kept eating like a dancer long after i stopped burning energy like one. i feel a bit stupid for not making the connection then- but what did a silly girl who was thin for most of her life know about maintaining the shape she took for granted?

in light of this new insight, i decided to take a new approach to dieting. the CAGE questionnaire from Psychiatry (i love pretending that i actually studied for the preresidency exam. mwahahaha!) is actually used to screen for alcohol abuse. well, can we use it for food abuse too?
let's try it:

1. Have you ever wanted to Cut down on your drinking (eating)? YES.
2. Have you ever felt Annoyed by criticism of your drinking (eating)? YES.
3. Have you ever felt Guilty about drinking (eating)? YES.
4. Have you ever taken a drink (snack) as an "Eye opener" (to prevent the shakes)? NO.

two or more "yes" answers should arouse suspicion of abuse.

okay. that was embarrassing.

all right. so there's food abuse going on here. i don't need all the food i'm putting in my mouth, no matter how much i enjoy it.

so how do we break the habit? by creating new ones! i can't not eat right? so i should be able to change what i eat. ang hirap naman. haha!

all right. i'm starting today. i will drop sugar drinks and too much rice (namely, more than 1 cup) unless it's a special occasion. para naman hindi ako deprived. haha! ang hirap naman. haha! but no, baby steps lang ito. water is the drink of choice, and rice must be limited. ;)

it takes 28 days to make a habit; so i have 28 days to favor water over all else, and cut rice consumption. let's go! :D

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

where there is no shifting out

the timing is always perfect. from a few days to a week before a rotation ends, i'm always SO EXCITED to shift out, no matter how much fun i'm having in a given rotation. why? because it's a chance to do something new, think of other things. while there is one general approach to sick people, each specialty is exactly that- special. a new mindset and a new set of differentials make me happy, especially those month(s) long rotations that just leave you tired of doing the same thing over and over again, every three days.

then i graduate and have to choose a specialty, a residency program. then that's supposed to be my WHOLE FRIKKING LIFE. it's like getting married without the big party and gown, pero sana in love ka sa chosen specialty mo- because THERE IS NO SHIFTING OUT.

for the rest of your life, your specialty will be your specialty. this scares me, even though i think i've chosen the right path in the face of a lot of judgment and a lot of blatant dissipation of interest once i state my choice. i honestly feel like i'm committing myself to the same rotation FOREVER. some might think that if you're sufficiently in love with your specialty, you won't notice the monotony, etc. well those people probably have excellent powers of concentration, or are workaholics obsessed with their life's work. ew.

this scares me, but i have to remember that i'm not even in a residency program yet. bruha, natatakot ka pa e baka hindi ka pa tanggapin. :P also, our residents kept telling us that residency is nothing like being a med student, and that being a med student is waaaaaaay better. okay, that's hardly comforting, but it just shows that i don't know what i'm talking about YET.

however, one difference i'm hoping for in residency that is not present in being a med student is the idea that i can move on with my life. residents can get married and have kids. they can request leaves and may even go on forced leaves. that sounds good. i've always felt that med school put my life on hold. maybe residency won't do the same to me.

there may be no shifting out, but my life can go on. that's a big thing.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

more praying


Virgin Mother of God, Queen of the most Holy Rosary, Thou who hast chosen to raise thy throne of mercy in Manaoag, to be the beloved protectress and patron of the Province of Pangasinan, and therefrom to bestow thy graces on us thy children, banished in this alley of tears, look down with Thine eyes of mercy upon me, who am beset with so many dangers of body and soul. Despise not my petition O dearest Mother, but intercede for me before thy divine Son now and at the hour of my death. Amen.

(ask most important favor)

After asking favor, pray
Three (3) Hail Mary's and
Three (3) Glory be to the Father

kaya ako pumasa ng boards 1


Saint Joseph, you were privileged to share in the mystery of the Incarnation as the foster-father of Jesus.Mary alone was directly connected with the fulfillment of the mystery, in that she gave her consent to Christ's conception and allowed the Holy Spirit to form the sacred humanity of Jesus from her blood. You had a part in this mystery in an indirect manner, by fulfilling the condition necessary for the Incarnation -- the protection of Mary's virginity before and during your married life with her. You made the virginal marriage possible, and this was a part of God's plan, foreseen, willed, and decreed from all eternity.
In a more direct manner you shared in the support, upbringing, and protection of the Divine Child as His foster-father. For this purpose the Heavenly Father gave you a genuine heart of a father -- a heart full of love and self-sacrifice. With the toil of your hands you were obliged to offer protection to the Divine Child, to procure for Him food, clothing, and a home. You were truly the saint of the holy childhood of Jesus -- the living created providence which watched over the Christ-Child.
When Herod sought the Child to put Him to death, the Heavenly Father sent an angel but only as a messenger, giving orders for the flight; the rest He left entirely in your hands. It was that fatherly love which was the only refuge that received and protected the Divine Child. Your fatherly love carried Him through the desert into Egypt until all enemies were removed. Then on your arms the Child returned to Nazareth to be nourished and provided for during many years by the labor of your hands. Whatever a human son owes to a human father for all the benefits of his up-bringing and support, Jesus owed to you, because you were to Him a foster-father, teacher, and protector.
You served the Divine Child with a singular love. God gave you a heart filled with heavenly, supernatural love -- a love far deeper and more powerful than any natural father's love could be.

You served the Divine Child with great unselfishness, without any regard to self-interest, but not without sacrifices. You did not toil for yourself, but you seemed to be an instrument intended for the benefit of others, to be put aside as soon as it had done its word, for you disappeared from the scene once the childhood of Jesus had passed.

You were the shadow of the Heavenly Father not only as the earthly representative of the authority of the Father, but also by means of your fatherhood -- which only appeared to be natural -- you were to hide for a while the divinity of Jesus. What a wonderfully sublime and divine vocation was yours -- the loving Child which you carried in your arms, and loved and served so faithfully, had God in Heaven as Father and was Himself God!

Yours is a very special rank among the saints of the Kingdom of God, because you were so much a part of the very life of the Word of God made Man. In your house at Nazareth and under your care the redemption of mankind was prepared. What you accomplished, you did for us. You are not only a powerful and great saint in the Kingdom of God, but a benefactor of the whole of Christendom and mankind. Your rank in the Kingdom of God, surpassing far in dignity and honor of all the angels, deserves our very special veneration, love, and gratitude.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of having been chosen by God to be the foster-father of His Divine Son. As a token of your own gratitude to God for this your greatest privilege, obtain for me the grace of a very devoted love for Jesus Christ, my God and my Savior. Help me to serve Him with some of the self-sacrificing love and devotion which you had while on this earth with Him. Grant that through your intercession with Jesus, your foster-Son, I may reach the degree of holiness God has destined for me, and save my soul.

Saint Joseph, I honor you as the true husband of Mary. Scripture says: "Jacob begot Joseph, the husband of Mary, and of her was born Jesus who is called Christ" (Matt. 1:16). Your marriage to Mary was a sacred contract by which you and Mary gave yourselves to each other. Mary really belonged to you with all she was and had. You had a right to her love and obedience; and no other person so won her esteem, obedience, and love.

You were also the protector and witness of Mary's virginity. By your marriage you gave to each other your virginity, and also the mutual right over it -- a right to safeguard the other's virtue. This mutual virginity also belonged to the divine plan of the Incarnation, for God sent His angel to assure you that motherhood and virginity in Mary could be united.

This union of marriage not only brought you into daily familiar association with Mary, the loveliest of God's creatures, but also enabled you to share with her a mutual exchange of spiritual goods. And Mary found her edification in your calm, humble, and deep virtue, purity, and sanctity. What a great honor comes to you from this close union with her whom the Son of God calls Mother and whom He declared the Queen of heaven and earth! Whatever Mary had belonged by right to you also, and this included her Son, even though He had been given to her by God in a wonderful way. Jesus belonged to you as His legal father. Your marriage was the way which God chose to have Jesus introduced into the world, a great divine mystery from which all benefits have come to us.

God the Son confided the guardianship and the support of His Immaculate Mother to your care. Mary's life was that of the Mother of the Savior, who did not come upon earth to enjoy honors and pleasures, but to redeem the world by hard work, suffering, and the cross. You were the faithful companion, support, and comforter of the Mother of Sorrows. How loyal you were to her in poverty, journeying, work, and pain. Your love for Mary was based upon your esteem for her as Mother of God. After God and the Divine Child, you loved no one as much as her. Mary responded to this love. She submitted to your guidance with naturalness and easy grace and childlike confidence. The Holy Spirit Himself was the bond of the great love which united your hearts.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being the virginal husband of Mary. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to love Jesus with all my heart, as you did, and  love Mary with some of the tenderness and loyalty with which you loved her.

Saint Joseph, you were the man chosen by God the Father. He selected you to be His representative on earth, hence He granted you all the graces and blessings you needed to be His worthy representative.

You were the man chosen by God the Son. Desirous of a worthy foster-father, He added His own riches and gifts, and above all, His love. The true measure of your sanctity is to be judged by your imitation of Jesus. You were entirely consecrated to Jesus, working always near Him, offering Him your virtues, your work, your sufferings, your very life. Jesus lived in you perfectly so that you were transformed into Him. In this lies your special glory, and the keynote of your sanctity. Hence, after Mary, you are the holiest of the saints.

You were chosen by the Holy Spirit. He is the mutual Love of the Father and the Son -- the heart of the Holy Trinity. In His wisdom He draws forth all creatures from nothing, guides them to their end in showing them their destiny and giving them the means to reach it. Every vocation and every fulfillment of a vocation proceeds from the Holy Spirit. As a foster-father of Jesus and head of the Holy Family, you had an exalted and most responsible vocation -- to open the way for the redemption of the world and to prepare for it by the education and guidance of the youth of the God-Man. In this work you cooperated as the instrument of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was the guide; you obeyed and carried out the works. How perfectly you obeyed the guidance of the God of Love!

The words of the Old Testament which Pharaoh spoke concerning Joseph of Egypt can well be applied to you: "Can we find such another man, that is full of the spirit of God, or a wise man like to him?" (Gen. 41:38). No less is your share in the divine work of God than was that of Egypt. You now reign with your foster-Son and see reflected in the mirror of God's Wisdom the Divine Will and what is of benefit to our souls.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for having made you the man specially chosen by Him. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to imitate your virtues so that I too may be pleasing to the Heart of God. Help me to give myself entirely to His service and to the accomplishment of His Holy Will, that one day I may reach heaven and be eternally united to God as you are.

Saint Joseph, you lived for one purpose -- to be the personal servant of Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh.Your noble birth and ancestry, the graces and gifts, so generously poured out on you by God -- all this was yours to serve our Lord better. Every thought, word, and action of yours was a homage to the love and glory of the Incarnate Word. You fulfilled most faithfully the role of a good and faithful servant who cared for the House of God.

How perfect was your obedience! Your position in the Holy Family obliged you to command, but besides being the foster-father of Jesus, you were also His disciple. For almost thirty years, you watched the God-Man display a simple and prompt obedience, and you grew to love and practice it very perfectly yourself. Without exception you submitted to God, to the civil rulers, and to the voice of your conscience.

When God sent an angel to tell you to care for Mary, you obeyed in spite of the mystery which surrounded her motherhood. When you were told to flee into Egypt under painful conditions, you obeyed without the slightest word of complaint. When God advised you in a dream to return to Nazareth, you obeyed. In every situation your obedience was as simple as your faith, as humble as your heart, as prompt as your love. It neglected nothing; it took in every command.

You had the virtue of perfect devotedness, which marks a good servant. Every moment of your life was consecrated to the service of our Lord: sleep, rest, work, pain. Faithful to your duties, you sacrificed everything unselfishly, even cheerfully. You would have sacrificed even the happiness of being with Mary. The rest and quiet of Nazareth was sacrificed at the call of duty. Your entire life was one generous giving, even to the point of being ready to die in proof of your love for Jesus and Mary. With true unselfish devotedness you worked without praise or reward.

But God wanted you to be in a certain sense a cooperator in the Redemption of the world. He confided to you the care of nourishing and defending the Divine Child. He wanted you to be poor and to suffer because He destined you to be the foster-father of His Son, who came into the world to save men by His sufferings and death, and you were to share in His suffering. In all of these important tasks, the Heavenly Father always found you a faithful servant!

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being God's faithful servant. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to be a faithful servant of God as you were. Help me to share, as you did, the perfect obedience of Jesus, who came not to do His Will, but the Will of His Father; to trust in the Providence of God, knowing that if I do His Will, He will provide for all my needs of soul and body; to be calm in my trials and to leave it to our Lord to free me from them when it pleases Him to do so. And help me to imitate your generosity, for there can be no greater reward here on earth than the joy and honor of being a faithful servant of God.

Saint Joseph, God has appointed you patron of the Catholic Church because you were the head of the Holy Family, the starting-point of the Church. You were the father, protector, guide and support of the Holy Family. For that reason you belong in a particular way to the Church, which was the purpose of the Holy Family's existence.

I believe that the Church is the family of God on earth. Its government is represented in priestly authority which consists above all in its power over the true Body of Christ, really present in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, thus continuing Christ's life in the Church. From this power, too, comes authority over the Mystical Body of Christ, the members of the Church -- the power to teach and govern souls, to reconcile them with God, to bless them, and to pray for them.

You have a special relationship to the priesthood because you possessed a wonderful power over our Savior Himself. Your life and office were of a priestly function and are especially connected with the Blessed Sacrament. To some extent you were the means of bringing the Redeemer to us -- as it is the priest's function to bring Him to us in the Mass -- for you reared Jesus, supported, nourished, protected and sheltered Him. You were prefigured by the patriarch Joseph, who kept supplies of wheat for his people. But how much greater than he were you! Joseph of old gave the Egyptians mere bread for their bodies. You nourished, and with the most tender care, preserved for the Church Him who is the Bread of Heaven and who gives eternal life in Holy Communion.

God has appointed you patron of the Church because the glorious title of patriarch also falls by special right to you. The patriarchs were the heads of families of the Chosen People, and theirs was the honor to prepare for the Savior's incarnation. You belonged to this line of patriarchs, for you were one of the last descendants of the family of David and one of the nearest forebears of Christ according to the flesh. As husband of Mary, the Mother of God, and as the foster-father of the Savior, you were directly connected with Christ. Your vocation was especially concerned with the Person of Jesus; your entire activity centered about Him. You are, therefore, the closing of the Old Testament and the beginning of the New, which took its rise with the Holy Family of Nazareth. Because the New Testament surpasses the Old in every respect, you are the patriarch of patriarchs, the most venerable, exalted, and amiable of all the patriarchs.

Through Mary, the Church received Christ, and therefore the Church is indebted to her. But the Church owes her debt of gratitude and veneration to you also, for you were the chosen one who enabled Christ to enter into the world according to the laws of order and fitness. It was by you that the patriarchs and the prophets and the faithful reaped the fruit of God's promise. Alone among them all, you saw with your own eyes and possessed the Redeemer promised to the rest of men.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being the Patron of the Church. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to live always as a worthy member of this Church, so that through it I may save my soul. Bless the priests, the religious, and the laity of the Catholic Church, that they may ever grow in God's love and faithfulness in His service. Protect the Church from the evils of our day and from the persecution of her enemies. Through your powerful intercession may the church successfully accomplish its mission in this world -- the glory of God and the salvation of souls!

Saint Joseph, I venerate you as the gentle head of the Holy Family. The Holy Family was the scene of your life's work in its origin, in its guidance, in its protection, in your labor for Jesus and Mary, and even in your death in their arms. You lived, moved, and acted in the loving company of Jesus and Mary. The inspired writer describes your life at Nazareth in only a few words: "And (Jesus) went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them" (Luke, 2:51). Yet these words tell of your high vocation here on earth, and the abundance of graces which filled your soul during those years spent in Nazareth.

Your family life at Nazareth was all radiant with the light of divine charity. There was an intimate union of heart and mind among the members of your Holy Family. There could not have been a closer bond than that uniting you to Jesus, your foster-Son and to Mary, your most loving wife. Jesus chose to fulfill toward you, His foster-father, all the duties of a faithful son, showing you every mark of honor and affection due to a parent. And Mary showed you all the signs of respect and love of a devoted wife. You responded to this love and veneration from Jesus and Mary  with feelings of deepest love and respect. You had for Jesus a true fatherly love, enkindled and kept aglow in your heart by the Holy Spirit. And you could not cease to admire the workings of grace in Mary's soul, and this admiration caused the holy love which you had consecrated to her on the day of your wedding grow stronger every day.

God has made you a heavenly patron of family life because you sanctified yourself as head of the Holy Family and thus by your beautiful example sanctified family life. How peacefully and happily the Holy Family rested under the care of your fatherly rule, even in the midst of trials. You were the protector, counselor, and consolation of the Holy Family in every need. And just as you were the model of piety, so you gave us by your zeal, your earnestness and devout trust in God's providence, and especially by your love, the example of labor according to the Will of God. You cherished all the experiences common to family life and the sacred memories of the life, sufferings, and joys in the company of Jesus and Mary. Therefore the family is dear to you as the work of God, and it is of the highest importance in your eyes to promote the honor of God and the well-being of man. In your loving fatherliness and unfailing intercession you are the patron and intercessor of families, and you deserve a place in every home.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of living in the Holy Family and being its head. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain God's blessing upon my own family. Make our home the kingdom of Jesus and Mary -- a kingdom of peace, of joy, and love.

I also pray for all Christian families. Your help is needed in our day when God's enemy has directed his attack against the family in order to desecrate and destroy it. In the face of these evils, as patron of families, be pleased to help; and as of old, you arose to save the Child and His Mother, so today arise to protect the sanctity of the home. Make our homes sanctuaries of prayer, of love, of patient sacrifice, and of work. May they be modeled after your own at Nazareth. Remain with us with Jesus and Mary, so that by your help we may obey the commandments of God and of the Church; receive the holy sacraments of God and of the Church; live a life of prayer; and foster religious instruction in our homes. Grant that we may be reunited in God's Kingdom and eternally live in the company of the Holy Family in heaven.

Saint Joseph, you devoted your time at Nazareth to the work of a carpenter. It was the Will of God that you and your foster-Son should spend your days together in manual labor. What a beautiful example you set for the working classes!

It was especially for the poor, who compose the greater part of mankind, that Jesus came upon earth, for in the synagogue of Nazareth, He read the words of Isaiah and referred them to Himself:  "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor..." (Luke 4:18). It was God's Will that you should be occupied with work common to poor people, that in this way Jesus Himself might ennoble it by inheriting it from you, His foster-father, and by freely embracing it. Thus our Lord teaches us that for the humbler class of workmen, He has in store His richest graces, provided they live content in the place God's Providence has assigned them, and remain poor in spirit for He said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3).

The kind of work to which you devoted your time in the workshop of Nazareth offered you many occasions of practicing humility. You were privileged to see each day the example of humility which Jesus practiced -- a virtue most pleasing to Him. He chose for His earthly surroundings not the courts of princes nor the halls of the learned, but a little workshop of Nazareth. Here you shared for many years the humble and hidden toiling of the God-Man. What a touching example for the worker of today!

While your hands were occupied with manual work, your mind was turned to God in prayer. From the Divine Master, who worked along with you, you learned to work in the presence of God in the spirit of prayer, for as He worked He adored His Father and recommended the welfare of the world to Him, Jesus also instructed you in the wonderful truths of grace and virtue, for you were in close contact with Him who said of Himself, "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life."

As you were working at your trade, you were reminded of the greatness and majesty of God, who, as a most wise Architect, formed this vast universe with wonderful skill and limitless power.

The light of divine faith that filled your mind, did not grow dim when you saw Jesus working as a carpenter. You firmly believed that the saintly Youth working beside you was truly God's own Son.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being able to work side by side with Jesus in the carpenter shop of Nazareth. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to respect the dignity of labor and ever to be content with the position in life, however lowly, in which it may please Divine Providence to place me. Teach me to work for God and with God in the spirit of humility and prayer, as you did, so that I may offer my toil in union with the sacrifice of Jesus in the Mass as a reparation for my sins, and gain rich merit for heaven.

Saint Joseph, your share of suffering was very great because of your close union with the Divine Savior. All the mysteries of His life were more or less mysteries of suffering. Poverty pressed upon you, and the cross of labor followed you everywhere. Nor were you spared domestic crosses, owing to misunderstandings in regard to the holiest and most cherished of all beings, Jesus and Mary, who were all to you. Keen must have been the suffering caused by the uncertainty regarding Mary's virginity; by the bestowal of the name of Jesus, which pointed to future misfortune. Deeply painful must have been the prophecy of Simeon, the flight into Egypt, the disappearance of Jesus at the Paschal feast. To these sufferings were surely added interior sorrow at the sight of the sins of your own people.

You bore all this suffering in a truly Christ-like manner, and in this you are our example. No sound of complaint or impatience escaped you -- you were, indeed, the silent saint! You submitted to all in the spirit of faith, humility, confidence, and love. You cheerfully bore all in union with and for the Savior and His Mother, knowing well that true love is a crucified love. But God never forsook you in your trials. The trials, too, disappeared and were changed at last into consolation and joy.

It seems that God had purposely intended your life to be filled with suffering as well as consolation to keep before my eyes the truth that my life on earth is but a succession of joys and sorrows, and that I must gratefully accept whatever God sends me, and during the time of consolation prepare for suffering. Teach me to bear my cross in the spirit of faith, of confidence, and of gratitude toward God. In a happy eternity, I shall thank God fervently for the sufferings which He deigned to send me during my pilgrimage on earth, and which after your example I endured with patience and heartfelt love for Jesus and Mary.

You were truly the martyr of the hidden life. This was God's Will, for the holier a person is, the more he is tried for the love and glory of God. If suffering is the flowering of God's grace in a soul and the triumph of the soul's love for God, being the greatest of saints after Mary, you suffered more than any of the martyrs.

Because you have experienced the sufferings of this valley of tears, you are most kind and sympathetic toward those in need. Down through the ages souls have turned to you in distress and have always found you a faithful friend in suffering. You have graciously heard their prayers in their needs even though it demanded a miracle. Having been so intimately united with Jesus and Mary in life, your intercession with Them is most powerful.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being able to suffer for Jesus and Mary. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace to bear my suffering patiently for love of Jesus and Mary. Grant that I may unite the sufferings, works and disappointments of life with the sacrifice of Jesus in the Mass, and share like you in Mary's spirit of sacrifice.

Saint Joseph, how fitting it was that at the hour of your death Jesus should stand at your bedside with Mary, the sweetness and hope of all mankind. You gave your entire life to the service of Jesus and Mary; at death you enjoyed the consolation of dying in Their loving arms. You accepted death in the spirit of loving submission to the Will of God, and this acceptance crowned your hidden life of virtue. Yours was a merciful judgment, for your foster-Son, for whom you had cared so lovingly, was your Judge, and Mary was your advocate. The verdict of the Judge was a word of encouragement to wait for His coming to Limbo, where He would shower you with the choicest fruits of the Redemption, and an embrace of grateful affection before you breathed forth your soul into eternity.

You looked into eternity and to your everlasting reward with confidence. If our Savior blessed the shepherds, the Magi, Simeon, John the Baptist, and others, because they greeted His presence with devoted hearts for a brief passing hour, how much more did He bless you who have sanctified yourself for so many years in His company and that of His Mother? If Jesus regards every corporal and spiritual work of mercy, performed in behalf of our fellow men out of love for Him, as done to Himself, and promises heaven as a reward, what must have been the extent of His gratitude to you who in the truest sense of the word have received Him, given Him shelter, clothed, nourished, and consoled Him at the sacrifice of your strength and rest, and even your life, with a love which surpassed the love of all fathers.

God really and personally made Himself your debtor. Our Divine Savior paid that debt of gratitude by granting you many graces in your lifetime, especially the grace of growing in love, which is the best and most perfect of all gifts. Thus at the end of your life your heart became filled with love, the fervor and longing of which your frail body could not resist. Your soul followed the triumphant impulse of your love and winged its flight from earth to bear the prophets and patriarchs in Limbo the glad tidings of the advent of the Redeemer.

Saint Joseph, I thank God for your privilege of being able to die in the arms of Jesus and Mary. As a token of your own gratitude to God, obtain for me the grace of a happy death. Help me to spend each day in preparation for death. May I, too, accept death in the spirit of resignation to God's Holy Will, and die, as you did, in the arms of Jesus, strengthened by Holy Viaticum, and in the arms of Mary, with her rosary in my hand and her name on my lips!


Saint Joseph, I, your unworthy child, greet you. You are the faithful protector and intercessor of all who love and venerate you. You know that I have special confidence in you and that, after Jesus and Mary, I place all my hope of salvation in you, for you are especially powerful with God and will never abandon your faithful servants. Therefore I humbly invoke you and commend myself, with all who are dear to me and all that belong to me, to your intercession. I beg of you, by your love for Jesus and Mary, not to abandon me during life and to assist me at the hour of my death.

Glorious Saint Joseph, spouse of the Immaculate Virgin, obtain for me a pure, humble, charitable mind, and perfect resignation to the divine Will. Be my guide, my father, and my model through life that I may merit to die as you did in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Loving Saint Joseph, faithful follower of Jesus Christ, I raise my heart to you to implore your powerful intercession in obtaining from the Divine Heart of Jesus all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare, particularly the grace of a happy death, and the special grace I now implore:

(Mention your request).

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel confident that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God. Amen.
Remember, most pure spouse of Mary, ever Virgin, my loving protector, Saint Joseph, that no one ever had recourse to your protection or asked for your aid without obtaining relief. Confiding, therefore, in your goodness, I come before you and humbly implore you. Despise not my petitions, foster-father of the Redeemer, but graciously receive them. Amen.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

it's finished! :D

the frog princess, md na talaga! :D :D :D

congratulations upcm 2010! :D

here's to living the dream! :D :D :D

Friday, July 2, 2010


The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:  10
Quality Time:  7
Words of Affirmation:  5
Acts of Service:  4
Receiving Gifts:  4


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

when retail therapy doesn't work...

you know everything's gone to hell.

horrible, horrible week.

i'm honestly wondering if review class is/was at all worth it. it's time off reading e.

i'm too depressed to finish this entry.

Friday, June 25, 2010

don't you get it?

you're living the dream!

that's what i kept telling myself during five of the most upsetting, most difficult years of my life. it was during these five years that i first felt AND knew the exact times when i was speaking without thinking, or i end up phrasing a lot of things badly, making myself look mean, or even worse, stupid. this was also the time when i had the distinct sensation of learning, BUT i'm not able to translate that learning into practice all the time. trina, think before you speak! it's harder than it seems. haha!

then we come to board review, applications for residency, and actually taking the boards.

not knowing how all this is going to turn out, if your hard work is going to pay off or not is driving everyone crazy (i think). haha! at least, it's driving me crazy. i love going over med school topics and learning so many new things, as well as revisiting what i've forgotten. the problem really is remembering everything for just four days of your life for just one set of make or break exams. panic!

but once again-

don't you get it? you're living the dream!

as a member of class 2007 told me when i was still in college, "no one wants to be a med student." everyone wants to be a doctor. but being a doctor means you go through being a med student. then i was told to think about it. apparently i didn't think hard enough. haha!

so, years later, i would end up telling an aspiring doctor the same thing. i also told her that while i knew that the time would come when i wouldn't want it anymore, i knew i'd regret it if i didn't go for it. i wonder what she'll decide. haha!

in the meantime, i'll go on living the dream- with my patho brs, where i'm 4 chapters and a day behind. haha!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Board Review Theme Song

Little Wonders
Rob Thomas

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we?ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

what i wouldn't give for photographic memory right now

board review isn't going as quickly, or as memorably (haha!) as i thought.

i'm glad that the boards force us to go back to the basics, things we've studied before, but forgot. :) things are easier to understand (but not necessarily remember, haha!) after seeing patients and prescribing meds.

ANG DAMI lang talaga. even if we were given six months to study all this, kulang pa rin. also, some of the things we read about for board review were never taken up while we were in med school. pero kung iisipin mo/the way it's talked about in review class, must know nga naman sila. haha! nakakaloka.

naku. pwede ba ang pagpasa ng boards ay based na lang sa effort rather than scores? haha! :D

Friday, May 14, 2010

why i love my boyfriend part 1

on eating A LOT:

"try stopping yourself. then when you succeed you realize you can control yourself.
that makes you more confident.
then you build on that,
and do more."

na-inspire niya ko. haha!


there has to be more to me than an appalling lack of eq and self-control. :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

review day one

haha! kapraningan day one din ang pwedeng title ng entry na ito.

we had some board simulation exam things in brains.

omg ang hirap.

we had:
1. biochem - may *pictures* yung mga process na ito. i've seen these terms in *pictures.* bottom line, hindi ko na sila maalala. MUST STUDY.
2. anatomy - 'nuff said. haha!
3. patho - basta, patho BRS na yan. haha!

nahirapan pa ko lalo with a tummy ache and SLEEPINESS. as in natutulugan ko yung exam. hindi ito pwede sa boards!

therefore, anong natutunan ko ngayong araw?
1. yung physio quota ko, at

also, i'm still not over having to move here to my lola's house for review. i spend five years wishing i could go home, and i still have to move out for the boards.

i don't like staying away from home (meaning away from my family), no matter how beautiful this house is. in fairness, my bed (as in the one i use in the cauliflower house) is here, and so are the helpers, pero iba pa rin. tapos wala pang mall dito. haha! at walang mabilis na 'net. magtyatyaga ulit ako sa sun broadband. booness.

days like these, gusto ko na talagang umuwi sa cauliflower house.


btw, vote kathy for fresident!

Monday, May 10, 2010

let the psychosis begin!

Okay, i've voted.

So it's time to get ready for the boards.

i have almost all the reviewers i need except for a few books i left in adriatico, one with donn mc, and one i have yet to order.

honestly, i'm in a state of panic right now. ang dami kong hindi alam, at ang dami ko nang nalimutan.

yung mga aaralin ko ba for these first weeks of review maaalala ko pa sa august?

so dahil wala akong alam, sayang ba yung effort ko ng limang taon?

makukumpleto ko ba reviewers ko?

papasa ba 'kong boards?

magiging NoyBi ba tayo for the next 6 years?

kakain ba ko ng dunkin donuts or krispy kreme after typing this entry?

fear and panic.

tinotopak na ko.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

*cricket cricket*

blocked again. this is not good. i have to finish the frigging yearbook by tomorrow so that i can study for the boards in peace, but it's harder than i thought.

writing has got to be the one of the very few jobs where you can sit still and stare at your computer screen for hours on end and (legally, honestly) say you're working.

and i can't believe i gave my eic the link to this blog. haha!

let's hope she doesn't read this. ;)

Saturday, May 1, 2010


a late entry. haha!

i started this blog in celebration of the end of med school and the beginning of the rest of my life.

Since the initial adjustment of starting medicine, I had an ever-lengthening list of things-I-used-to-do-but-can’t-anymore, things-I-want-to-do-but-can’t and things-my-non-med-friends-can-do-that-I-can’t, all because of med. I considered the five years of medical school as a period of suspended animation. What was foremost in my mind was that as soon as May 1, 2010 comes in, I get do each and every item on that list- with a vengeance!!!

But during these last days of internship- we all began to think about what we would do once internship ends. Some wanted to sleep, others wanted to go home, and still others had (horror of horrors!): NOTHING TO DO. A classmate also asked me what I was going to do after April 30. I answered: everything. Everything? What kind of an answer is that? What was I really going to do?

I thought I was going to play with my Wii, but I won’t. I thought I was going to have a TV series marathon the way I used to, but I won’t. I thought I was going to spend the day mall-hopping in the malls I used to love. I was in one of them the other weekend. The place underwent a massive renovation- I didn’t recognize it anymore.

Five years had gone by. Of course things won’t be the same. Of course I won’t be the same. Time did not stand still when I left home, and no matter what I may have thought, time did not stand still for me either. I find that I don’t want the same things anymore. UPCM and UP-PGH made their marks on me, five years’ worth of marks. The silly LUIII student who came in 2005 is coming out the (hopefully) sensible UPCM 2010 doctor who got to deliver a baby and stand by a patient as the time of death was called.

So what am I really going to do after April 30?


I have the rest of my life before me; bring it on!