where there is no shifting out

the timing is always perfect. from a few days to a week before a rotation ends, i'm always SO EXCITED to shift out, no matter how much fun i'm having in a given rotation. why? because it's a chance to do something new, think of other things. while there is one general approach to sick people, each specialty is exactly that- special. a new mindset and a new set of differentials make me happy, especially those month(s) long rotations that just leave you tired of doing the same thing over and over again, every three days.

then i graduate and have to choose a specialty, a residency program. then that's supposed to be my WHOLE FRIKKING LIFE. it's like getting married without the big party and gown, pero sana in love ka sa chosen specialty mo- because THERE IS NO SHIFTING OUT.

for the rest of your life, your specialty will be your specialty. this scares me, even though i think i've chosen the right path in the face of a lot of judgment and a lot of blatant dissipation of interest once i state my choice. i honestly feel like i'm committing myself to the same rotation FOREVER. some might think that if you're sufficiently in love with your specialty, you won't notice the monotony, etc. well those people probably have excellent powers of concentration, or are workaholics obsessed with their life's work. ew.

this scares me, but i have to remember that i'm not even in a residency program yet. bruha, natatakot ka pa e baka hindi ka pa tanggapin. :P also, our residents kept telling us that residency is nothing like being a med student, and that being a med student is waaaaaaay better. okay, that's hardly comforting, but it just shows that i don't know what i'm talking about YET.

however, one difference i'm hoping for in residency that is not present in being a med student is the idea that i can move on with my life. residents can get married and have kids. they can request leaves and may even go on forced leaves. that sounds good. i've always felt that med school put my life on hold. maybe residency won't do the same to me.

there may be no shifting out, but my life can go on. that's a big thing.